CRAZY BEAUTIFUL LIFE

Hello my loves <3 I’m beyond ecstatic to share my engagement/weekend with you all today! Forgive me for taking my time with sharing, the past few days have been quite the series of events. But, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I love this crazy, magic, awful, beautiful, life. 

*Background: Chase and I have been dating three months shy of three years. When we decided we wanted to get married, I gave him 3 rules for our engagement. 1. Ask my dad for permission, 2. Make sure my nails are done, And 3. Talk to my friend Jessa beforehand so she can take pictures. (:

This story begins on Saturday the 19th (: Chase always tends to his grandmas yard on Saturdays, and I don’t usually see him until 4:00. I had been at a shoot for a couple hours, and heard from him when I was on my way home. “I’m on my way,” he said (fine-uhh-lee) “Be there in 30!” 

Since I had just gotten done shooting, I did not feel like changing (again) so my last outfit remained on me. 

He came in my house, gave me a kiss, and out we went to grab some dinner! “Sundance” he said, as he smiled a little bigger than normal. We often eat at Sundance, and love their restaurants! A night up at Sundance in nothing out of the ordinary. 

*For three weeks time at this point, I was always thinking “Today is THE day,” ESPECIALLY on the days I had shoots with Jessa! Jessa was out of town for work the past few days, and I knew a proposal wouldn’t be happening this weekend because she wasn’t home. 

We drove up Provo canyon, pulled into the parking lot at Sundance, and Chase began laughing histarically. (Weird) He gets out of the car and started talking to the person we parked by. I got out of the car and made my way over to see one of our photographer friends Brolin! Camera in hand might I add! My mind started racing! “Maybe it is going to happen tonight! Maybe Chase called Brolin because Jessa is out of town!” Then my mind then began to race double time. “If he called Brolin, why would he park right next to him and have me see him? Why is he not trying to keep this a secret?! Chase would not spoil a surprise like that. He would have parked somewhere else..” I wrote it off. It wasn’t going to happen tonight ): I ate my dinner without another thought of “this could be the night.” 

Once we finished eating, we took our leftovers to the car. Chase quickly threw them in and shut the door before I had the chance to hop in the car. “Let’s go on a walk!” He said. Once again, not anything out of the ordinary. Chase is a country boy at heart, and loves anything outdoors. (And, we often walk the grounds of Sundance) 

It was cold up the canyon, so I made him wrap his arms around me and help keep me warm! (I did not want to go on a walk in the cold, but I couldn’t protest after our delicious dinner!) 

As we were walking, I noticed two dogs playing in a field of grass. (Ever since we got our dog, I’ve been completely dog obsessed!) The dogs were maneuvering in and out of families, groups of people, couples, some guy with a camera that looked like Brolin, …. “Wait, Brolin?! Maybe it IS going to happen after all!”

I hurry and scanned my surroundings. One step ahead of me was the cutest little picnic set up.. (complete with sparkling cider and flowers) “How did I not see this way back at the beginning of the trail?!” I thought. “I’m so oblivious!” 

Chase grabbed my hand, span me around to face him, and then kissed my forehead so soft and so sweet. He began to sink to his knee, reach for his back pocket, and turned red in the face. 

My heart completely burst, and I was lost in the moment.

I began giggling with excitement, and shaking a bit (from the cold weather and adrenalin I assume.) He started to speak, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. “Shlemamuh zxyqwfhbkj blah ju ohgf. You chwanna bo filna lulu. Brittney, will you marry me?” (I caught the last part!) 

I started nodding and said “Yes” immediately! He jumped up lightning fast and began placing the ring on my right hand. Hahaa! The ring made it all the way on my finger before I told him it was on the wrong hand! 

I suddenly noticed the clicking sound of a camera. I turned, thinking Brolin was taking the pictures, (because he was only 15 feet away from our darling picnic setup) and was going to crack a joke to him about the ring on my right hand! But when I looked over, it wasn’t Brolin.. My jaw dropped. It was Jessa. And her husband Jordan. Taking pictures, videos, laughing, and sharing this special moment with us. 

Once again, my heart began to burst. I don’t have a sister, I don’t have many close girl friends, and I haven’t ever had a sister moment. So when I saw Jessa, I finally experienced that “moment” I’ve wanted my entire life. 

I had my sister, her husband, a ring, and most importantly now, my fiancé. I didn’t know it was possible to “feel” so much in such a short moment. “This is it” I thought. “This is how life is supposed to feel. Always.” And I stayed lost in the moment. Butterflies and all. 

*** 

Chase and I drove out of the canyon, and immediately wanted to call family members and share the news! When our phones gained service again, a message from my brother came in. 

I called him instantly to share my exciting news! (I also asked him not to tell my dad or grandma who he was with at the time, because I wanted to tell them myself.) “Ok cool,” he said playing it off casual like he always does. “But listen, I was over at Aunt Judy’s house today, and I think you should go see her right now. She isn’t doing too well.”

***

Chase and I raced to my grandmas house, (half excited, half worried) shared our exciting news, and walked over to my Aunt Judy’s home with my family. 

*My Auntie has always lived a block away from my grandmama, and played as another grandmother to my brothers and I. She is one of the kindest women I know, so creative, and so loving. She even got Chase and I back together one time when I was going through a rough patch. About three months ago, we found out Judy had cancer.. The doctors estimated she had around six months time.. and it was devastating.

When we walked into Judy’s house Saturday night, there was a different feeling. My Aunties children said she had just fallen asleep for the first time in three days, and that they didn’t know what to expect come morning. 

My grandmama and I walked into my Aunties bedroom to see her. She was asleep, and she looked so cute. My Auntie was sprawled out on her bed, smiling, slightly snoring, and so lovely. I was planning on telling her about my engagement, and letting her know how much I loved her. There was no way I would have dared to wake her, so I decided I would go over again the next morning to see her and tell her our exciting news.

***

My sweet Aunt Judy passed away peacefully the next morning. She was greeted by her mother (my great grandma) who also lived in the same house once upon a time. I know it was a beautiful reunion. <3

*** 

These last few days have truly been incredible. I’ve experienced some of my highest highs, and lowest lows. I’m so excited to be engaged to the love of my life,  (I’m still freaking out:) and I’m so happy that my Aunt is out of her pain and in a better place. It was just an unexpected, odd series of events and emotions in such a short amount of time.

Each time I look at my new ring, I am overjoyed with the thought that I am getting married to my better half. Each morning I put it on, I think of the it’s symbolism. It’s a reminder of our promise to each other, our eternal marriage, and our never ending life/love. The ring is forever. 

Each time forever pops into my head, I am instantly reminded of my Aunt Judy. That she’s still here, watching over us, that we’ll see her again, and that our family will be together again. Forever. 

I want you all to know that I believe in Christ. I know that only through him it is made possible that I can be with Chase, My Aunt, and my family forever. Through past experiences (this weekend included) I have come to know that the Savior knows us individually, watches over us, and above all loves us to no end. I’m so grateful for Chase, my family, my trials, the enormous amounts of love I’ve felt recently, and most importantly for this life. This crazy, magic, awful, beautiful life. <3 

Life really is magic, you never know what to expect. The greatest night of your life can quickly turn into something unexpected, and there’s beauty in that. Be happy. Have faith. Live righteously. Count your blessings often. And above all, love.